Saturday, November 18, 2006

thoughts on friends

Lately I was told by three different people that I was their best friends, and this happened on the same day... Yup I was flattered. Then it got me thinking about people who I had considered friends and why somehow people just drift apart. There isn't usually a reason, its just that one day you wake up and you realise that I am not really friends with so and so anymore and you try to figure out how you could have avoided it... So I came up with couple of things that I've noticed....
Some people claim to be your friends when its easy! What I mean is, the proximity factor has a lot to do with who you think is your friend.. How many times have I really felt close to someone but then I later realise that the only reason we were so close is because we had to see each other frequently and as soon as circumstances are different its like its too much work for them to pick up the phone and say hey or even email from time to time. I dont claim to be the perfect friend, I've felt bad for not calling back or for not responding to an email when I should have.
This brings me to my next point, another reason I've seen friendships die is simply due to the fact that whatever kept your friendship together doesn't exist anymore. Maybe it was a certain lifestyle or maybe it was because you were both someone else's friend (that one is a frequent one!) but whatever it was isnt' there anymore. Or sometimes I am sure the person just looses interest in their old friend, or they have another "friend" so they can't really manage more than one friend at once - sad if you ask me but oh well...
Sometimes I try hard to keep all of them close to me, I call, I text , I email and at first I am in denial then I realise that if I didn't do anything nothing would happen and as hard as it might be I let go... and then a couple of weeks go by and I try again lol... its pathetic....

On a brighter topic, I am glad I have friends who have kept in touch for 10 years or more no matter which continent they are on. I am glad there are people out there who actually make an effort to keep writing, to keep calling even its just once in a while to let me know they care! It makes me smile when someone just calls me out of the blue especially when I haven't heard from them in a while. I dont want to sound like those stupid forwards but friendships need to be nourished or they slowly fade away.I have to say the proximity factor does keep together friendships that would have died otherwise.... Thats why I find it a nice challenge when its not that easy to see or meet a friend, because I wonder what will happen....
Yeah those were my thoughts on friends for today.... I guess I better send this now and go take more calls