ONE WORD TINA - AMEN
"I hate when someone says "I just knew" or "He's The One". WHY? If you can't articulate an answer, I'm pretty sure it's because none exists. What happens if in 5 years you meet someone and feel a greater connection or you realize you were wrong and this new guy is obviously The One (which is another concept I'm not impressed with)."one word Tina "AMEN"
I want to kiss and hug you right now b/c I have repeatedly said that to people and yes most of them have gotten upset with me then realised later on that I was right. Everyone wants someone good. Every single girl I've ever talked to wants someone who "loves" them, "loves" kids. But for some reason they just leave it at that. I always point out that there are an endless number of guys that could meet those prereqs. I also realise that the level of maturity determines people's choices too. I mean most teenagers dream about dating the guy who is "cool", who’s fun, who everyone wants to be with which is fine at that age. BUT it is sad when someone gets older and they still don’t understand what is good and what they need. Overtime females should start to realise that they actually need someone whose life will mesh with theirs, their goals, what they consider important in life. As Kristin mentioned everyone wants something different, not everyone wants someone with a career etc etc. The point is that the two of you agree on where you’re headed!! However, evolutionary speaking you want to be with a mate who will increase your chances of survival and help you provide for the kids (and who hopefully will stick around long enough to help you raise them), no matter how he does it * (hoping its legal haha). Another point I want to bring up is that most women out there know there is better but they fear that if they let go what’s presented to them they will end up alone boo hoo so might as well go for the bloke who is showing me love even tho we don’t really know where we’re going or what we’re doing. There are a lot of reasons people jump into relationships for no apparent reasons and thats NEVER GOOD. Especially if they can only come up with "I felt attracted to them". I dont know how physical attraction without anything else will get them through 20, 30 or 40 years of marriage. If only we knew we deserved and could get better than the first guy who just happens to be there when we are feeling lonely and who shows us attention and "love", we would avoid a lot of heartache. I mean I always used to say technically there are so many guys I could have dated for years, sweet, smart loving guys (because I mean it has to be someone I can at least have intellectual convos with otherwise shoot me) – hell I could have been happily married to one of them. Statistically speaking so many of us could have ended up with someone different had the circumstances being different why? Because it all depends on what we thought at the time was a “good relationship”… or if we were “wanting to get with a guy asap” or whatever motivation we might have had. Most people give more thoughts to the new car they are looking to buy than to the man they are thinking about marrying because I mean “he looooves me” he’s such a sweetheart! Arghhhhh…. Moving on…….
I also believe that movies, TV shows, songs and pretty much anything out there is meant to make us feel like "love" is all that matters-this “love” of course is usually portrayed as pure physical attraction - I mean do you ever wonder about all those romantic movies, where they always start off protraying the current girlfriend as being anti-social and weird. And the “new” chick is cool, fun and understands the guy SO WELL even though they have just met. And man the connection that they have is priceless and he kisses the new chick and somehow whatever relationship that he had with his girlfriend (and usually fiancé because at that point they are about to get married) just crumbles in a matter of weeks if not days. And the ending is great because finally he’s with the “one”. By the way this started off as a comment on Tina’s blog but it was getting outrageously long since this topic gets to me. So I figured I might as well post!!!
Yeah well that’s (that being all this rubbish about how relationships are supposed to start and what that ‘feeling’ is, how we should be able to dump our fiancé after meeting a girl who’s cute and really gets us!) what we’re feeding our society then yes, we have to deal with the consequences of bad decision making based on emotions and not much else.
And this comes from an emotional person - :)
posted by Suzy @ 11:42 AM
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