thoughts on friends
Lately I was told by three different people that I was their best friends, and this happened on the same day... Yup I was flattered. Then it got me thinking about people who I had considered friends and why somehow people just drift apart. There isn't usually a reason, its just that one day you wake up and you realise that I am not really friends with so and so anymore and you try to figure out how you could have avoided it... So I came up with couple of things that I've noticed....Some people claim to be your friends when its easy! What I mean is, the proximity factor has a lot to do with who you think is your friend.. How many times have I really felt close to someone but then I later realise that the only reason we were so close is because we had to see each other frequently and as soon as circumstances are different its like its too much work for them to pick up the phone and say hey or even email from time to time. I dont claim to be the perfect friend, I've felt bad for not calling back or for not responding to an email when I should have.
This brings me to my next point, another reason I've seen friendships die is simply due to the fact that whatever kept your friendship together doesn't exist anymore. Maybe it was a certain lifestyle or maybe it was because you were both someone else's friend (that one is a frequent one!) but whatever it was isnt' there anymore. Or sometimes I am sure the person just looses interest in their old friend, or they have another "friend" so they can't really manage more than one friend at once - sad if you ask me but oh well...
Sometimes I try hard to keep all of them close to me, I call, I text , I email and at first I am in denial then I realise that if I didn't do anything nothing would happen and as hard as it might be I let go... and then a couple of weeks go by and I try again lol... its pathetic....
On a brighter topic, I am glad I have friends who have kept in touch for 10 years or more no matter which continent they are on. I am glad there are people out there who actually make an effort to keep writing, to keep calling even its just once in a while to let me know they care! It makes me smile when someone just calls me out of the blue especially when I haven't heard from them in a while. I dont want to sound like those stupid forwards but friendships need to be nourished or they slowly fade away.I have to say the proximity factor does keep together friendships that would have died otherwise.... Thats why I find it a nice challenge when its not that easy to see or meet a friend, because I wonder what will happen....
Yeah those were my thoughts on friends for today.... I guess I better send this now and go take more calls
posted by Suzy @ 8:22 AM
7 Comments:
blink. blink.
hi suzy!!!
i love you.
I think of you as one of my very close friends. I hope it's still true after Lost stops being made.
friendships are tougher and tougher to build and maintain as we get older that's for sure. this is a very, um, thought provoking post.
i told you i love you, right?
Dan and I have gone through even those planned but not fake blitzes of calling everyone we can in a day.
I like going through my cellphone on my way home and picking someone to just ring up for no reason that I don't usually get to talk to. It was usually Tina, Celine, Lola, Billy, Eric or something like that. Now of course Tina and I chat just a lil bit more! But I loved doing it. You and I feel the exact same way on this but for me.. well I don't have those friends from the past as you. (Talking Elementary school and most of highschool) Good post
I'm hurt.
As I recall it was FOUR people in TWO days and the word ever was also involved.
ANYWAY, I used to make very little effort to keep in touch with people. Now, I'm trying harder because, although my cell phone bill is higher, it's nice to know there are people I can call on if ever I should need to.
Talking to people from the past also gives you some insight as to how you've grown as a person. Them recalling that time you decided to show up to school in blazer, sweatpants and rubber boots to hand in an assignment (really great stuff to remind you why you could never become famous, hush money would be too expensive). I could go on but it's bad enough that they remember!
I do the blitzes calling too. Somehow it always seems to be Monday, Tuesday or Thursday as I'm standing there waiting for a bus.
I'm also glad Sj loves chatting with me! (That's what he meant right?)
I really enjoy talking to people and count myself lucky that I have friends to call. People that I want to get to know better and family I can trust. As far as friends go. I like to define them as people that will be there for you when they don't want to be.
Your post is a great reminder to touch peoples lives.
I've been thinking a lot about this lately especially now that I'm half way around the world and my friends have started going to different countries.. it is difficult to stay in touch! I am thankful I have friends, who despite the distance and the amount of time that has passed, still remain close to me. I love talking to a close friend and realizing that the friendship is there even though we haven't seen or spoken to each other for quite some time. It's like we pick up right where we left off and I just get that fuzzy, comfortable feeling of being friends with that person - who knows me so well and can probably tell you some of my most embarassing moments.
one of the things I love the most: i have friends from college that i don't get to talk to very often but when I need them, all I have to do is text and they ALWAYS text back or call to comfort me. I also love that when they're in trouble, they still open up to me. =)
lol, its funny how many people thought this post was directed at them. I DO LOVE YOU ALL, and if we haven't talked in a while I DO MISS YOU INCREDIBLY, yes and you, and you .. you too. muah.
Well in a sense I guess we all feel that need to "catch up"
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