The beauty of the human mind

MARRIAGE : the love story

Yup I am back.. 2 mnths later ! I have been busy ... I am getting married in a couple of months (6 to be exact) and that may seem like a long time but trust me in terms of wedding plans its nothing. Most of my friends are actually surprised that I am getting married this year.. To be honest two years ago I didn't know I would get married this year!!! And I have had to answer the "How did you know he was the one?" question a million times by now. I realised that I have always had a positive view of marriage. I mean I was raised by a single mom so its not like I had a lot of role models in terms of marriage but despite what the entire world as well as the media threw at me ... I had faith I knew that it would be a sweet thing and I wanted that companionship! Throughout my teenage years I was always the "serious one" when it came to relationships... I couldnt just accept the the logic of dating for the sake of dating. Yeah I know its crazy!! But I like to think it saved me time and heartaches... I did tend to have a lot of guy friends so maybe what other girls who were my age were trying to make up for I already had , due to my closeness to guys, having mostly guys as best friends...because I always understood the guys' point of view.. which of course quickly turned me into a tomboy! Anyhow I was talking about marriage!!! So again.. I was best friends with my current fiance... It was impossible for us to be anymore similar or understand each other any better without actually being the same person!!! The one thing that always bugged me was being hit on by a guy.... I always thought (still think so) that it was the worse thing that could happen to me. You're probably wondering why? Well I like to understand to really know people and when a guy hits on me its just a front that he's putting up so that I can like him AND then get to discover him. There is something seriously wrong about that.. what I like is to know the guy, see him in his environment, like the real him and if I fall.. LET IT BE because at least I am falling for the real him. Nothing frustrated me more than having a guy tell me all this sweet, superficial stuff that I didn't feel impressed by. Now something really perfect happened between my Steve (my fiance) and I, we respected each other without being biased by our feelings. Stephen and I were both at different stages in our life, dating other people yet we saw each other potential, I'd joke about how he would be a great dad and a wonderful husband. And he'd tell that I really would be a great wife. We saw each other for who we really were. That was something I had been wanting my whole life, genuinely seeing someone for who they were without being emotionally involved. Now there are a lot of guys out there who are going to be great husbands but the fact that I saw in Steve a great husband was because of my perception of what a husband should be.. and the same goes for him. Of course much later, when we were single we started developing and just growing intense feelings for one another. And it got to the point where it was just too obvious to ignore or to let go of.. and it wasn't superficial .. so I couldnt get out of it by thinking "well how do I know what he's really like" because I did. I had always known what a great guy he was.. Never doubted it one second. Well .. to cut the story short.... I also knew that he had the qualities that I wanted in a future husband, in my future babies' daddy! Sometimes its just so unbelievable how he fits my "bill" .. Its so crazy... and I think that the fear that people have when they get married stems from their perception of what marriage is and also from their fear of discovering someone else. So I am not going to tell you all "Follow your heart" or "You'll know" . Because you are the one who determines which type of person and then when you meet them you will know and if its really what you want .. its highly probable that you will be ALL OVER THAT person. Steve and I have been together for hmmm ... lemme see... more than a year and yess I still feel those butterflies in my stomach... I still feel horrible when I know I am not going to see him... Everyone knows about communication in a relationship and all those important things that are written in every single relationship book but I guess I just wanted to tell you all that just like anything else a husband (aka best friend) is someone thats going to be there with you for the rest of your life... So make a WISE choice not purely based on emotions otherwise one day someone else might make you feel stronger emotions than what? .... I didn't know I was going to get married in September 2006, i didn't know I was going to be Mrs Jacobs .. but I knew what I wanted.. I knew what I needed and I found it. And I am so sure .... I am realistic about it but I know my baby and I know we'll have rough times but we'll stick together and thats the most comforting feeling in the world. Much love and kisses !!!!

posted by Suzy @ 5:23 PM